Weight Loss Woes

I have been trying to lose weight for the past two months. Well, truthfully, for the past 10 years, but that’s another story. Not only have I managed to NOT lose a single pound since November, I have actually gained weight! It is frustrating and discouraging. My niece, Janet, who long-ago tried to lose weight and quit smoking, told me that weight loss is a far more difficult undertaking than smoking cessation. (She certainly has never been “fat,” though, so why she ever chose to diet is a mystery to me.)

I was whining about all this to the boys a while back because, well, griping is just so much easier than actually taking responsibility and doing something.

Linda: “I don’t know what I can do to lose some weight.”
Jim (always full of exercise and eating tips): “All you have to do is exercise more and eat less.”
Linda (sarcastically): “Gee, really?”
Jacob (enthusiastically): “Well, Mom, I saw some stuff on tv that you could try. A lady named Julie lost 150 pounds when she used it.”
Linda: “Thanks, Jake, but I don’t even weigh 150 pounds.”
Jacob: “They said on tv you would even be sexier.”
Adam: “That’s just creepy.”
Jacob: “What does sexier mean, anyway?”
Linda: “It means that you look really hot.”
Adam: “Stop it, this is creeping me out.”

(In reality, all that this discussion established was that Jacob is allowed to watch entirely too much television since he knows the names of the people giving commercial testimonials. I hope “Julie” is happy now.)

Anyway, my brother, Norm, is now my weight-loss hero. In May 2006, he unexpectedly had to undergo heart angioplasty. While in the ER, he was asked the name of his doctor, and when he answered that he did not have one, they replied, “Well, you do now!” After he was released from the hospital, his new cardiologist recommended that he start exercising. Not being a huge exercise enthusiast – hmmm, maybe that runs in the family – Norm started to walk. He walked every single day, no matter what the weather was like. By the summer of 2006, he had lost tons of weight simply by exercising and eating better. (Yeah - I see how that works, Jim.) In fact, Norm told me recently that he has walked 601 consecutive days! My new diet strategy this year is to eat what Norm eats. At family gatherings, I will copy him. If Norm allows himself two cookies, I’ll allow myself two cookies. At the pizzeria, if Norm has a turkey sandwich, I’ll have a turkey sandwich. No more ham and bacon pies for me. It all sounds so straightforward, so easy. (Like WWND?) If he can drop 45 pounds, I can certainly lose my extra 10, um 15, ok 20 pounds. So, now I’m on a roll. I’m inspired! I’m encouraged! I’m psyched! I’m motivated! I’m ready to exercise! I want to be a big loser! Check back in a month to see if I have actually made any progress! But, please, do not wager any money on that happening.