Valentine Brunch

Jim, Adam, Jacob, and I all found ourselves together on Valentine's Day. Our exciting holiday activity this year was attending brunch at the Finnish Center with Nancy and Irma. The Finnish Center is a club-like social organization where every person of Finnish descent from southeast Michigan has been at least one time or another. On the second Sunday of each month they offer a brunch where people like my mother enjoy mingling with old friends and eating so-so food. The cooks and servers at these brunches are all volunteer Finns with an average age of about 85. And they are slow. Very, very slow.

The brunch is supposed to begin at noon. In the past, it listed an 11:30 a.m. start time, but the workers were always so consistently late preparing the food that they just decided to say noon. On Sunday, the six of us arrived at the Finnish Center promptly at 12:00. Nancy stopped by the hostess podium to pick up numbers to hold our places in line. Despite asking repeatedly for six numbers, the hard-of-hearing hostess would only give Nancy four: 43-46. When Nancy politely, but loudly, insisted on two more numbers, the woman reluctantly fumbled through her collection of worn, cardboard numbers and came up with 41 and 42. It was evident at that point that she was unknowingly passing out the numbers backwards. We found a table and chatted while the elderly volunteers unhurriedly set up the buffet table.

12:15. No food out yet, but chafing pans and warming trays were being brought from the back room.
12:30. Still no food visible.
12:45. My stomach was growling. Sterno was being lit. Progress!
1:00. Hostess announced that brunch was ready, and "Rudy's table could go on up first." Huh?

After somehow bumbling her way through the forty numbers before ours, we were finally called on by the hostess to go through the buffet line. I don't have enough time or space here to describe the food, other than to say that it was mediocre at best. After eating, I wandered over to the Finnish Center gift shop to make a quick purchase. The aged woman working at the cash register was busy ringing up an order for someone buying about ten items. The cashier repeatedly calculated and re-calculated the multi-item purchase - apparently never satisfied that her addition was correct. After her fifth or sixth try, Adam and Jacob came into the store to see what was delaying me. We all stood there completely flabbergasted as the buyer then joined the seller in an attempt to speed things along, only to slow the process down even further. Then, as if sent purely for our entertainment, two 90-ish ladies browsing in the gift shop started lamenting to one another that all of their friends were dead. The boys and I chuckled out loud at their conversation. All in all, I probably stood in line at least 20 minutes for my 15-second transaction. It is wonderful that these seniors get out of the house to volunteer their time and seem to enjoy doing it. But if you are ever in a hurry, heed my advice and steer clear of the Finnish Center because you will definitely not receive quick, or even normal, service there. Just slow service. Very, very slow.