How to Kill Seven Trees in Sixteen Years

The year after we moved into our house, the township planted two ash trees in the grassy strip between our front sidewalk and the street. Jim and I hired a landscape company to put more trees, two good-sized maples, in our backyard. We then bought a decorative Japanese maple tree for the front of the house and a weeping cherry for the side. We were pleased with the appearance of our collection of flora and foliage, and were excited to think about what our six trees would look like as they flourished and grew. It was the summer of 1992.

In the fall of 1993, we were dismayed to discover that our pretty Japanese maple was dying. We consulted a nursery near our house and were informed that these trees "are just difficult to grow." We left it alone, hoping that it would somehow come back to life and sprout buds the following spring. No such luck. One tree down. We eventually swapped it for another Japanese maple that also died. Today, a plum tree stands in its place.

In 1995, our weeping cherry wept for the last time. Two trees down. After we removed the unfruitful skeleton, we decided to just replace that tree with a bush. A few years later, one of our lovely maples in the backyard began to show signs of distress. Again, we checked with a local nursery only to discover that there was no cure for the ailing tree. We ended up chopping it down and using it for firewood during a camping trip. Three trees down. We replaced the maple with another one that is currently doing well. In 2001, the infamous ash borer disease struck our two awesome, 20-foot tall ash trees in our front easement. They were bare sticks by the summer of 2002, and the township ground them up into tiny chips and hauled them away. Trees four and five down.

Last year, we were disappointed when our sixth, and last, original tree started to die. We were sure that with some TLC we could nurse it back to health. To make a long story short, Jim just finished chopping up that last, sad maple tree yesterday. Six trees down. Now, I understand that the ash borer disease was beyond our control. But, our uncanny ability to choose four other trees – five, if you count our second doomed Japanese maple – that were destined to croak seems odd to me. Obviously, we do not have green thumbs, but trees are not cheap things to replace again and again. We still do not know exactly what went wrong, though we are hopeful and optimistic that all of our new replacement trees and bushes will continue to thrive.

Knock on wood.