Sad News

My brother’s mother-in-law, Lucy, passed away unexpectedly on Sunday. She had been in the hospital since July 1st and was undergoing inpatient chemotherapy for stomach cancer. Since she had been a cancer survivor in the past, everyone assumed and hoped that she would pull through again and return home. Apparently, the cancer had already spread, though, and nothing else could be done. Along with Lucy's family, my own mom misses her terribly, too. They were neighbors for over 60 years and, if they weren’t shopping or going out to eat together, they were talking to each other on the phone. Such sad news. Wish it weren’t true.

The Summer Blast

On Saturday, Nancy, Norm, Richie, and I attended our elementary/junior high/high school reunion. Jim and Jacob came, too. The "Summer Blast" has taken place annually for the past five years or so, but this is the first time that any of us have made it. Over time, the affair has developed into a big, casual picnic held in a nearby park. It is open to all attendees of any of our schools. Or nearby schools. And the immediate and extended family members of any school attendees. And friends. In other words, the organizers pretty much don’t care who the heck comes to this reunion. The whole event was um, interesting, in that I only knew about ten people outside of our little group. I did get to visit with my 1st grade and 4th grade teachers, who remembered me – or so they said. I think Norm found more people that he knew than the rest of us did. All in all, it was a fun day; as the weather was beautiful, we had food & drinks, and we actually did end up chatting with some long-lost acquaintances. Next year, though, we vow to bring our brother, Wayne, his wife & in-laws, and some more school friends that we still see regularly. Then it will really be a blast.

Medical Woes

The geriatric psychiatrist finally examined Bev on Tuesday. Diagnosis: Alzheimer’s disease, which I have learned is a type of dementia. I am attempting to get in touch with the psychiatrist to find out the stage and prognosis. The nurses accidentally gave me the name of the geriatric neuropsychologist to phone yesterday (instead of the psychiatrist) and when I called her, she said that she had never even met or assessed Bev. The neuropsychologist was very nice, though, and did promise to drop in on Bev today. Now I have to hunt down the psychiatrist who actually performed the dementia evaluation. Whew. Psychiatrist. Neuropsychologist. You would think a nurse would know the difference, and be able to give a patient’s family the right doctor with whom to make contact. Jim and I have appointments to check out a few more dementia extended care places on Saturday. The reality that Bev will never go home or be her old self again is finally setting in for Jim and his siblings, and it is really quite disheartening.

Bev is still delusional, and, yes, she is pretty funny even now. At least she has been less anxious and agitated the past few days. Her distressing delusions have not been too prevalent lately, due partly to her medications. A lot of the time, she thinks that she is either at a hotel, at her sister’s house (“breaking in”), awaiting surgery of some sort or another, or wandering around downtown Detroit where she used to live. She did decline a trip “to London with the girls to attend the King’s wedding," though, because she did not want to fly that far. Sigh. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on Alzheimer's patients to try to determine exactly how and why they come up with some of the things that they say. It would be interesting, that’s for sure. I commented to the workers at Bev’s rehab place that they must hear some wild stories, like how we had been in jail, for example. We all had a good chuckle about that one again.

My brother’s mother-in-law has - sadly - been diagnosed with stomach cancer. She did beat cancer in the past, so hopefully she can hang in there and defeat it again. I am certainly ready to hear some good news from the medical front any day now.

I Love My New TV

For the past few weeks, we have been shopping for a new television. I have learned things about TVs that I never even wanted to know. I now possess knowledge about plasma vs. LCD. I understand about contrast and about 720 vs. 1080 resolution. After comparing what seemed like about 25,000 different TV sets, we finally settled on a 52” flat screen, LCD, full-HD Olevia. We brought it home tonight, set it up, and have been playing with it for hours. We discovered, quite by accident, that our WOW cable/internet/phone bundle includes free high definition service for seven different channels. Now, all we need to do is add a DVR to our WOW package, so we can actually record shows using something other than our ancient VCR. And maybe get the HD service for the rest of our channels. Then, we will finally be on our way to crossing the threshold into the 21st century!

Dementia and Delusions

Bev was transferred to a rehab facility on Monday afternoon after two weeks in the hospital. The hospital was, in my opinion, not very well equipped to deal with her increasing memory loss issues. The rehab place has already diagnosed Bev with dementia, and is coordinating her care with their geriatric psychiatrist. The psych guy will assess her, establish what stage and level her dementia is at, and determine her prognosis. After that, we will have a few weeks to decide which long-term care facility in which to place her.

Dementia struck Bev hard and fast, and it is not a pretty thing. Sometimes Bev is very agitated and angry; other times she is quite passive. Her thoughts now are about 90% delusions, which are easier to deal with, in some ways, than if she were more coherent. We are trying to remain upbeat, and one way to accomplish this is to accept the fact that nothing we do can reverse these symptoms. There is no use correcting or arguing with Bev - that only results in more confusion and frustration on her part. There is usually a hint of entertainment in her “stories,” and I, for one, try to look for that each day. Otherwise, I would be overwhelmed with the reality of exactly how gloomy this disease is.

In her mind this past week, Bev has:
~Tried to make phone calls on her hand-held poker game.
~Been on an airplane to Vegas.
~Worked at her old job at an answering service.
~Resigned from her old job at the answering service.
~Traveled all over Michigan, the U.P. included.
~Visited with my mom, dad (dead since ’92), and sister.
~Informed us that she won’t be available to babysit while we work.
~Wondered why we were all in jail last weekend.

It all just goes on and on. Adam and Jacob went to the rehab place with us this evening. Bev knew exactly who they were (!), but wondered where our “little one” was. We did have a good laugh about the jail comment, too. Every day brings something new and intriguing. I think when we do receive Bev’s prognosis and get her settled into a safe living environment, we will actually be able to continue on with our own lives in a somewhat normal way. At least that is what I am hoping for! I'll keep you all informed.

U.P. Pix

Tomorrow, I hope to update the blog regarding Jim's mother's condition, which has deteriorated significantly since my last post. My brother's mother-in-law is also hospitalized and is quite ill. Sigh.

In the meantime, here are a few pictures taken during our trip to the U.P.

Jim and Jacob posed on our beach. Adam participated in his favorite beach activity.

Adam later dug a hole until he reached water. It was about 2 feet deep.

Jacob made a hole, too.

We stopped by Waterworks Park to pick rocks. The pickings were slim.

We visited the "Mystery Spot." Fun!

Here is the Mackinac Bridge.

Notes from the North

We left home on Saturday morning and arrived in the Upper Peninsula that afternoon. We have been spending time at our little beach on Lake Superior, which is actually quite big this year due to the low water levels of the Great Lakes. We have also visited with my cousin who is vacationing here from California. We have eaten pasties, gone shopping, gambled, and driven to all of our favorite local haunts. On Tuesday, we dropped Jim off at a tiny, nearby airport, so he could get to Calgary for work on Wednesday. The rest of us will arrive back home on Thursday. . .

. . . which will be delightful because then I will again have to deal with my mother-in-law. Jim called her on Monday, only to have her yell at him because "she doesn't have a telephone in her hospital room." Jim looked baffled, and replied in a very irritated voice, "What are you talking to me on?" She has also been demanding money, so she can "pay these waitresses" and "buy some cigarettes." Since Jim's sister, Debbie, has been forced to spend more time with her, she is finally seeing how confused Bev really is. The car keys are hidden and assisted living homes are being scrutinized. Can't wait to get back to all of that. Not.

Anyway, I will post some trip pictures as soon as Adam helps me load them onto this laptop!

Bev Strikes Again

Tuesday night – well, it was actually Wednesday morning – at 12:20 a.m., the phone rang. Adam and I were, of course, still awake, but you assume that when someone calls after midnight it is probably trouble. Or else Norman, who is always up until the wee hours of the morning. Anyway, it was Jim’s brother, and, surprise, their mother was in the Emergency Room. How she got there, and why she was there, was unknown. I woke Jim up, but he was not even remotely interested in going to the hospital; I suppose because his mother has cried wolf one too many times in the past. Curious, and slightly worried, Adam and I set off to solve the mystery. We found Bev strapped to a backboard in the ER, grumbling about her ordeal. She claimed that she had fallen down in her bedroom, and could not get up again. Without her glasses on, she could not see the numbers on the telephone to call anyone, although she says she did attempt to dial 911 repeatedly without success. In a panic, she crawled outside onto the driveway and yelled for help. (Side note: If she could manage to find her way outdoors, why could she not manage to just grab her glasses, which were right there in their normal spot on the table?) Eventually, the neighbors across the street heard her, called 911, and were even thoughtful enough to light her a cigarette while she sat on the cement waiting for the ambulance.

To make a very long story short, Bev was not injured at all in the fall. She was diagnosed with probable pneumonia, though, which does not bode well for someone with end-stage emphysema. (Side note: How can you “probably” have pneumonia? Either the chest x-ray shows it, or it doesn’t.) Naturally, Bev is very confused, and her wild and convoluted stories at the hospital last night even had Jim chuckling aloud. Jim’s brother told us some wild tales about Bev’s recent driving, too, which include hitting numerous curbs, blowing through stop signs, and very nearly crashing into trees & such. (Side note: Why did he feel it was not necessary to tell anyone about this?) At least now I am certain that Jim’s sister will have to agree with us that their mother should never be allowed behind the wheel of an automobile again.

Anyway, the four of us, plus Nancy and my mom, are scheduled to leave for the U.P. on Saturday. Jim says that, of course, we will still go. He does not really set a shining example for Adam and Jacob of how a devoted son should act. Oh well! Our greatest hope is that Bev is required to stay in the hospital for a while – five or six months would be nice.